What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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