So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
