Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
