Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
