who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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