I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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