Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
