I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
