so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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