Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
