real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
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