We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
