HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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