I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
