she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
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He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
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I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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