who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
worst night to have a conscience
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
