I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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