I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize