Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
