We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
