wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you win again, gameday.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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