True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
then he tried to convert me to islam
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
