That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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