ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
