bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I had to cum in my sink.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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