Will you blow on my dice?
Barsexuality is the new black.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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