Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
