just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
