Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
