We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
