if i can run in heels then i can drive
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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