so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
