The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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