Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
