Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
