Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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