Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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