found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize