I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
