That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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