i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
