And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
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This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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