can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The beer is more important than you right now.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
