I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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