i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
