Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
that is very illegal...i love you.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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