If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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