Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
