I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize