I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
