Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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