Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
