The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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