Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize