In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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