My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
