I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
