yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
