I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
