i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
