I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
