maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize