You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
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if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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