she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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