Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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