stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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