he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize