So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
