What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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