How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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