D3 body, D1 cock
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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