Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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